Some days everything is a struggle. Lately the days have been more struggle than flow. It would be easy to say it’s because I’m not #blessed, but it wouldn’t be honest. I have an incredible wife, along with five kids who grow and mature daily. I even have a friend or two. It also helps that I exist as a mediocre white male in America.
I am goddamned #blessed.
But still I struggle. And sometimes the feedback loop starts there, in acknowledging the privilege and advantage exists and knowing how simple my life is compared to others’.
And so I focus on my failures. In part, this is a numbers thing. Nothing is 100% successful. Perfection being impossible, everything we attempt has an aspect of failure. Within those failures is the experience we need to be better failures. We learn from our failures, so it makes sense to analyze them. But all too often my focus bends toward obsession. And then leans into self doubt.
Logically, I understand that because I’ve attempted and failed so many things, I’ve had experiences and gained knowledge I once didn’t have. Those are both great things. Because of those things, I think I am a better person than I was before.
I just need to remember that more often.